he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
