He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
