so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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