"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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