We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
