my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
