I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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