My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
