yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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