He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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