He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
