The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
