the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
