HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
