I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
