his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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