It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm at about main and main street
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
