Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
