she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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