i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
