I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
