I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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