making cat noises will not fix the situation.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Randomize
