I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
