im about as happy as oj after his trial
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
