Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
