he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
