It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
