forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
