i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
