thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Terrible idea I love it
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
