I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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