i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
