Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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