I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
you inspire me to be a worse person
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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