How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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