Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
this boner is exhausting
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
