So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
