party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I just found puke in my bra..
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
