Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
