Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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