Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize