If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Randomize