nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
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