I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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