The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
