If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
