You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
