watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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