when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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