Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
