I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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