But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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