You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
